julian vayne | The Blog of Baphomet

I was reflecting on Big Rituals, you know the ones, like Big Dreams they stand out in memory as real turning points. Catastophic and beautiful experiences of revelation. Sometimes Big Rituals feel like this at the time. Things come together ‘just so’ and we receive some flash of insight, some beautiful vision or, if we’re less lucky, a Holy Book 😉 Then there are those rites which are true initiations. They may be impressive enough at the time, but it’s only in hindsight (that most splendid of divinatory tools) that we recognise just how awesome they were – or are. That’s the thing with the Big Rituals, they resonate in ones life long-time.

One such ritual, many years ago, was one which took place in Sussex in the company of some Druids. It was a camping affair, our tents creating a temporal autonomous zone of jovial and friendly good vibes. Good music, good company, good food and all the rest. Druids, in my experience, really know how to camp (as it were…).

Anyhow, the ritual consisted of a spectaular fire labyrinth. Laid out on the ground, lines of wood-shavings and soaked with some flammable fluid. The spiral design of the maze enabling people to walk in to the shape, circling back and forth into the centre. At the core of the space was the heart of the labyrinth, with the next section leading straight out. Walking such a beast (once lit and the 6ft flames having died down) would itself have been mindblowing. But add to this a composition of a few mysterious sounding notes that one participant had decoded (from a similarity between the design and some aspect of musical notation) and we had the perfect soundscape too.

But the ritual didn’t end there. The plan was once people had walked the labyrinth they’d leave and go and sit in one of two places around the design. Those sitting in one space would be brought by a guide to the Upper Realm. This was a beautiful large white tent, decorated in fabulous Druid Pagan style. In this tent they could do a divination (if I recall correctly) and would then sit singing ‘Arwen’ until all who wanted to journey that way were gathered in.

Meanwhile those who were going to the Underworld would be guided to another dark tent. There they would face their fear and ceremonially die. Suffice it to say that this process was dramatized in a suitably powerful way.

I can’t remember if I was asked or if I volunteered (hmmm – note to self, always check this in case I need to apportion blame later…) but my job was to be the ‘ferryman’ to the dark side. For three hours I walked back and forth from the Underworld to the dying embers of the fire labyrinth, all the while chanting a suitable Ogham rune. It took that long to ‘process’ all those who wanted to die. But serious practitioners each and every one, those folks in the Upper World tent chanted ‘Arwen’ all that time.

At the end of the ritual in my part of this ritual landscape the dead awoke. We gathered in a circle and the presiding Druid brought us back to the world. We held hands, remembering we were alive again, and in the darkness a cow uttered a long, comic ‘moo!’

The Druid asked us to ‘banish with laughter’, and we did.

Looking back on this ritual it was certainly a Big One for me. It sparked a chain of events which led me into some really challenging territory and has brought me great rewards. This was a major initiatory experience in my own magickal unfolding and while I’ve never formally been part of the Druid tradition I’m honored to have worked with such inspiring and inspired people.

Big Up the Druids I say!

I was sitting with the irrepressible Grim Rita on the night before The Occult Conference held recently in Glastonbury, and was privileged to be offered a sneaky peak at the manuscript of her memoirs. Aided by the truth-saying that naturally comes with consuming prodigious quantities of wine, Rita asserted the significance of the telling of personal stories. Her memoir, as one might expect, is an intense document. Even in my brief dip into the first 25,000 words I encountered some powerful, at times harrowing material. I congratulated the author on putting down on paper some deeply personal experience.

To paraphrase Rita herself, the fact that we’re people trying our best to figure out ‘what it’s all about’ is the important stuff. So rather than write a book about the god Set (the deity she is devoted to) she has instead been inspired to write a book where her devotion to Set can be understood as emerging out of, and informing, her life story. Personally I really like this approach which is why I like books like My Life With The Spirits by Lon Milo DuQuette.

Just because you like Set don't mean you can't like people

Esoteric writers may produce all kinds of exciting instructional texts about the seals of spirits X,Y & Z, the correct pronunciation of Enochian and all that but, when all said and done, these arcane powers only come to life when embedded in a human narrative. To find meaning in the world we need to take things personally, to absorb raw abstract instructions and to realise them through our own practice.

The perennial desire, to make sense out of our lives is certainly a great motivator for those of us who get hooked on magick. Even when our rituals may seem to be the simplest bits of results orientated sorcery they are also all opportunities to know ourselves. Magick is an autopoietic process, where (depending on your favourite description) we reveal, enact, or create our Selves. So it was with Rita’s observations in mind and, having been informed that there wasn’t a data projector in the house (so my audience would escape getting a PowerPoint presentation that afternoon) that I significantly amended my talk.

For The Occult Conference I was billed as a chaos magician speaking about Baphomet. The week before at the Devon and Cornwall Pagan Federation Conference) I’d spoken about Baphomet too. In that lecture I’d described this spirit entity (its Templar origins, its links with the Horned God of Wicca, its connection with Satanism etc), but I didn’t include much of my own story in the narrative. The lecture went fine (and I did manage to create a new catchphrase within the Pagan community) and lots of people gave me positive feedback. But somehow I felt that something was missing. So at Glastonbury I spent much more time talking about my own relationship with Baphomet and included much more personal material. Although I only had a few scant notes and no slides to show the lecture went very well indeed. Proof of Grim Rita’s point that it’s the human-scale experience that matters the most. Sharing personal stories of magic – its realisations and questions means that we meet others on the level playing field of our shared humanity (no matter what grand titles or mystical lineages we may claim). When I’m inspired, when I feel a connection with my audience that’s when my lectures go really well and I felt this was one of my best performances. So thanks to Grim Rita, Priestess of Set for reminding me that being human is the most amazing, magical thing of all.