Uncategorized | The Blog of Baphomet

I don’t have perfect health. My body after nearly 47 years taking breath, has had things happen to it, and has broken in several places. A casual passer-by would never know but, I have; ligament damage to my knee, a weak Achilles tendon, currently a bad back (from sitting funny last week and spreadsheeting for three hours), and a severely damaged inner ear. Also, various other temporary aches and damaged bits come and go, along with the rounds of viruses, bacteria, and so on. My skin and bones record dozens of small scars from long forgotten injuries.

This is my normal. Having a blemish free body, unaffected by incidents after so long would be unnatural. It is a miracle I am alive at all! I marvel at how well biology does at maintaining this form I inhabit in recognisable similarity year to year, despite replacing all the cells on a regular basis.

Evolutionary adaptation takes into account this wear and tear, accidental impacts, and attacks from hostile micro-organisms. As well as repair, it has blessed us with death, and its companion, reproduction, so as to give the life force a restart every generation. Our tissues are designed to receive damage and recover from it as best as possible. Life expects us to be hurt.

I once heard a skin specialist being interviewed, who was asked what we could do to keep our skin totally safe. He said, cover it in petroleum jelly and stay indoors permanently; which he immediately followed with, of course that is impossible. Living entails a process of acquired ‘imperfections’. Like trees none of us has grown entirely according to the biological instructions we were provided with at conception, our surroundings alter our shapes and behaviours. This even applies to how our DNA instructions manifest themselves (see epigenetics).

Having experiences gives us personalities, and interesting appearances. Like trees, the ‘perfect’ human form would likely seem bland and without character.

My perfect tree

Part of living is accepting that we do not remain in that mythical state of ‘perfection’, even if we are born with no obvious errors; which in itself is not something we ought to expect. Having the ability to see what we do have, in the face of adversity, to count our blessings, gives us a different take on who we are.

In a world influenced by the futile quest for a standardised perfected body image, the scars and marks of survival can loom large. For me a big step in defining myself came when I was asked by my friend (a psychologist with many years experience of counselling those with chronic conditions) what percentage of me was ‘ill’, and what ‘healthy’. I realised that whilst my internal sense of (literal) balance was flawed, it made up only about 3% (subjectively) of Me. The other 97% was in fact in pretty good shape. Suddenly instead of feeling broken, beyond repair, I felt that I had worked well at keeping what I could functional; my senses were fine, I had limbs that did what they should, I had reasonable fitness. I could do more things to make that ok part of me better, or perhaps Good; even if I couldn’t change the damaged inner ear.

And so I did. I’ve spent the last few years practising yoga, eating well, ensuring I sleep properly, and enjoying the things I can do, pushing aside the terror of inadequacy by building the abilities I have; so that when I get dizzy or have issues then the weller bits of me can compensate. This is not a perfect solution, but, as well as the health benefits, this strategy has made me feel I have influence over myself, my behaviours. A feeling not to be underestimated in its power.

On a magickal level the approach has changed my attention, which for me right now seems to be one of the defining skills of a magician; to direct attention as necessary for optimal results. And as I switched to this different perspective, I began to discover (by myself, and via information shared by others with me), possible remedies for the problem, as its import shifted to non-critical. Perhaps, by allowing the damage to be there, whilst seeing the strengths I had, this made space for the previously non-existent (in my world) herb-lore to appear?

However, I write this suggestion very cautiously. It is easy to say, ‘think positively! and all your ills will vanish!’ That is not my intention here. Our aim ought to be to acknowledge our imperfections, our normal state which means we cannot, then look for and focus on the normal we have which means we can.

My inner ear is not mendable. The surrounding biological systems and my way of life however can adapt, so nowadays when I lose balance I barely notice that my body catches me before I stagger and fall. The fatigue can be held at bay (mostly…) by factoring in rest periods throughout every day. Feeding the health, giving attention to wellness, pushing aside the trauma of not-perfect.

Recently I visited my mum, and we were talking of my university days; and I found myself glad that I had done that training, but, pleased it had been forced to stop, as I now have a career which suits me far better. With hindsight, I learnt so much from the years of pain and discomfort, those twists of my branches away from the programmed high reaching symmetry of a scientist has given me a lower profile with greater stability, and arguably made me far more likeable… though without a control it is hard to tell 😉

I would like to encourage those readers who have health issues, whether intrinsic or from external sources, to make a slight shift in perspective, and (in a Pollyanna way…) play the game of rejoicing in their abilities.

Accentuating the positive can drive out the negative. Directed attention does miraculous things to the bodymind. We notice what we look for; seek out your strengths, and you might be amazed at how those weaknesses atrophy.

Recently I was honoured to be asked to be part of performing a handfasting ceremony for a couple of friends. We used the elements to bless them. As I waved the candle around their joined hands, and said words of blessing, there was a pause, as something tried to come out of my mouth, an idea half-shaped; instead of appearing on the beach, it has taken a few more parts of time to emerge. Here it is, for my friends, and for anyone else that cares to read it.

Home is where the hearth is

Fire, the element of action; of motivation, the spark that lights our fuse, burns steady in our hearths and hearts, bringing light to our worlds, visibility to our lives. Fire needs feeding, and as we collect and prepare firewood for the home fire, we can see the work required to tend the fires of lives, of our relationships. Keeping an eye on when it needs poking, and when it ought to be left alone to burn low and give those gorgeous glowing embers from which we skry visions of other worlds. We roam about, finding suitable materials to carry home, to provoke our senses and enthusiasms, words pictures tales, acts which shape our bodies and minds, sticks that we like the look of.

These materials are raw, and often need trimming, refining, cutting to length, stacking up as a pile with which we can later build the flames of entertainment or warmth.

To ignite our fires, we need a spark, a match. Kindling, whether twigs or papers, to catch the first flare and carry it to larger things, breath to give live to the growing crackling entity we conjure to manifestation. Carefully we add to our fire, feeding it, as experience teaches us when to add more, when to wait developments.

‘Doing fire’ can be viewed as a process, from the decision to gather a bundle of fuel, to clearing away the ashes. The time of manifestation of that flame makes the process have a tangible result, which is Fire. Symbolically though we must remember to include the larger actions, fire representing actions, as well as using energy. (NB Food transformation also forms a large part of the firey lore, but you can hopefully extrapolate that for yourselves.)

Our relationships follow patterns we could relate to this process, the gathering of raw materials as fuel for presenting to each other, and tools (skills) to tend our interactions and conversations. An easy remark, to spark a conversation, a sharing of each to the both of us. Bringing our attention to our partners especially, as well as other relationships, we ought to remind ourselves of how much time and effort it takes to maintain the glow of loving kindness, and of how worthwhile that can be.

Light from these flames can illuminate our current behaviours, cast shadows upon our living room walls, flicker on loved faces as we share the contents of our times and heads.

[At this time of year (in this part of the world), outside hearths come into their own, whether in our gardens or in more transient settings; sitting around a fire with friends has to be, for me, the most convivial of all places. I should make an effort to do it far more often…]

Put your trust in Magick; but mind to keep your matches dry, and your kindling plentiful.