Looking both ways

I’m sitting and writing this in the days between the solstice and the New Year. Those strange, delicious in-betweenness days which, according to legend, are bonus dates that extend the 360 degrees of the horizon’s circle into the 365-ish days of the solar year.

I’m grateful that, as I reflect on the year that is on its way out, I’ve been so fortunate. Especially in Euro-American culture we tend to believe that what happens to us is the results of our choices, and up to a point that may be true. However, much of what happens in our lives is the result of conditions around us, and innumerable other factors over which we – in the sense of our consciousness awareness or even our ability to plan – wield little control. (I am reminded of an interview with the Duke of Westminster in which he wisely suggested that the best way to get rich in the UK was to have an ancestor who was friends with William the Conqueror.) I therefore praise the Goddess Fortuna for her favour.

My good fortune last year consisted of many opportunities to work with remarkable people. This is one way I endeavour to roll with the capricious Wheel of Fortune, by surrounding myself with wonderful friends, allies, colleagues and collaborators. I get to do cool stuff in part because I make it my business to hang out with wonderful humans, to be inspired, cared for, recruited and raised up by them. Amazing collaborations in 2023 included with the team of Breaking Convention and our first conference at the University of Exeter, the members of the Order of the Sun and MoonThe Fungi AcademyThe Magical Pact of the Illuminates of Thanateros and many others. I was able to travel in 2023 to attend the MAPS conference in Denver, as well as Music, Magic & Medicine and Occulture in Berlin. Meanwhile I’ve been invited to contribute to the emerging academic fields of occult studies, psychedelics and philosophy and esoteric art. I’ve been administered intravenous DMT for an hour at Imperial College, and taught local NHS wellbeing programs. My strategy, such as it is, is to put myself in the right place (physically, psychologically etc) and then just wait for amazing things (collaborations, situations, inspiration etc) to arise. This echoes the view of my Tai Chi teacher, quoting his teacher Cheng Man-ching, that to access the power of chi all you had to do was put yourself in the right place and then it will just turn up. The analogy being catching a bus; you have to get to the right bus stop but once you’re there just be patient, and get on board when it arrives.

Find the allies

I recognise my privilege in all this, in all the opportunities I have been able to access. I thank Fortuna for the chance to doing things I love with people I respect, admire and whose company I enjoy. My happiness, as I reflect on 2023, is also born of the perception that some of the things I’ve done have helped others. For example, at the Breaking Convention conference Nikki and I had more than one person tearfully express to us how grateful they were to be in a setting in which their interest in psychedelics was accepted and indeed celebrated. For me it’s both a source of honour and of delight to be able to do this work which I consider an expression, speaking with my pointy occultist hat on, of my Great Work. Meanwhile for those who missed the conference itself, the talks from Breaking Convention 2023, like those of previous years, are all available free on YouTube.

Me on intravenous DMT, for science, selecting my post entity-encounter lunch.

I’ve also been honoured to directly support the next generation of psychedelic sitters by teaching on programs curated by Daniel ShankinLaura-Dawn, and Natasja Pelgrom.

2024 looks like it is set to be equally busy in a good way, here are a few things that are already scheduled:

I’ll be speaking at The Occult Conference in Glastonbury, 17-18th of February in person, and the following weekend I’ll be part of the online Sacred Mycology Summit curated by The Fungi Academy, 23-25th February.

I’m facilitating a psychedelic retreat in The Netherlands with the excellent Nurse Jo and other very experienced space holders (Jo’s blog is here). This will be immediately after the Breaking Convention 2024 one-day event in London. For details of the BC event follow them on social media so you can grab a ticket once these go live, or sign up to their newsletter.

If you’re interested in joining me in the Netherlands for our retreat, which is specifically for psychonauts who want to develop their space holding skills, please drop me a message. The dates for this are Monday 22nd until Saturday 27th of April.

Meanwhile on the artistic front, there is another exhibition scheduled for The Order of the Sun and Moon, once again in St Ives, this time from the 9th to 15th of November. We’re also planning a show in London earlier in the year, details are yet to be confirmed so watch this space for updates.

The illustrated volume of essays by the Order of the Sun and Moon with foreword by Judith Noble remains available via Amazon. Contact me direct if you want one of the rare signed copies, or one of the editions that contain original artwork by Greg Humphries.

I was really chuffed that so many people attended the opening night, that visitors to the gallery keep the place buzzing for a week, and that I sold several pieces. The artworks that I produce for sale can be found on the gallery page of my website and you can see the pieces from the St Ives show here.

Kate Southworth, Greg Humphries and me in The Crypt Gallery, St Ives, Cornwall.

Also via my website I’ve got three inexpensive self-directed courses available (in fact one of them is completely free) and I’m working with the excellent Dave Lee to shortly add an extensive course on chaos magic too. Dave incidentally has just published another excellent book, Primal Chaos: Writings and Rituals from Then and Now through Nikki Wyrd’s publishing house The Universe Machine.

Finally, I’m going to be doing lots of online esoteric workshops with Treadwell’s Books (coming up next New Year’s MagicScryingChaos Magic and Psychogeography), Morbid Anatomy (Chaos MagicSigil Magic, and Navigating Psychedelic Space), Viktor Wynd (An Introduction to Aleister Crowley, and Thelemic Magick) and The College of Psychic Studies (details coming soon). Stay tuned to my social media for more details.

Thanks for taking the time to catch up with my news! Now it’s back to the excellent home-made mince pies, baked and photographed by the ever skilful Nikki Wyrd…

The pies have it!

I hope that you found good fortune in 2023, and wish you a fabulous and flourishing 2024.

Big Love!

Julian

In the Dark’s Early Light

In the Northern Hemisphere we are emerging from the darkness of winter. Blinking into the cold, clear, even cruel light of the Imbolc season. This year, we initiates emerge from the long vigil of the pandemic night and now, as the seasons turn, we can begin to imagine what comes next.

What sort of rebirth will this be?

We need to appreciate that for many people the last year has been the most challenging of times. Some have been working to save the lives of others. Some have fallen down lonely rabbit holes of conspiracy fetishism, holes that have become yawning chasms in culture, where legitimate fears are conflated with concerns of a much less well-evidenced sort. Some have found themselves with several months off work on full pay, a delicious time in which they have been rediscovering their local area and exploring their creativity. Others have been holed up for months in difficult or even dangerous situations. Healthcare workers have been living through a time of tremendous stress. A friend of mine spent several weeks holding up iPads to the faces of prone and dying patients with Covid-19 so their families could say goodbye.

The range of experiences within this one great, shared, global crisis are legion. But for all of us there is now the challenge of finding good ways to remake our connection with others. There is both danger and opportunity in this delicate time.

One practice I’ve developed to help deal with isolation is contained in the guided meditation below. This is a practice to help us connect with our sacred magical places. Special places we may not have visited for some considerable time. We know that a lack of connection is commonly at the root of both depression and addiction. By using our imaginal skills to reconnect with those places we love, we help ourselves be well and better prepared for the challenges to come.

This meditation was one of the practices that Nikki Wyrd and I shared in our recent online ritual hosted by The Psychedelic Society. For the rite Nikki also wrote a beautiful text about the spirits of the time which you can read in its entirety at the end of this article.

Imbolc or Candlemas is closely associated with the Goddess (or Saint) Brigid, the archetypal skilful woman. A skilful woman who received a long overdue celebration of her work this month is the artist and occultist Rosaleen Norton. A beautifully realized film documentary telling her story, The Witch of King’s Cross, is now available on Vimeo and Amazon. If you find yourself entranced by Norton’s work and story then your next stop has got to be Pan’s Daughter, an excellent biography by Nevill Drury. I’ve been a fan of Norton’s work for many years, and the new film includes some stanzas of her ritual poetry. Below, I’ve recorded in full a poem quoted in part in the film. The image I’ve chosen is the one originally published alongside the poem in her banned occult art book The Art of Rosaleen Norton (published in 1952, just one year after the repeal of the witchcraft act in Britain).

As we in the North emerge from the winter and into reconnection with others beyond Zoomland, in physical space, there are going be lots of issues to negotiate, many of which will cluster around our ability to trust. It is lack of trust that fuels the conspiratorial mindset. This is quite understandable. The hesitancy to be vaccinated as demonstrated by some communities is perfectly intelligible given the very real abuses of trust they have suffered in the past where people, generally the more excluded members of our societies, have indeed found themselves the unwitting guinea pigs of appalling unethical scientifically mediated interventions, such as the infamous Tuskegee Study. Sure, the whole notion of ‘the state’ is problematic, orientated as it generally is around a monopoly on violence. Simply put; some guy comes along and tells you you have to give a percentage of your crops to The King, if you don’t his knights will make things difficult, or terminal, for you and your family. Later The King explains that he is protecting you from other Kings and other knights, and so the great protection racket begins. It is therefore explicable that, in the face of this pandemic, the state narrative (for some nations) is voiced in the language of fear, protection by authority, othering and ‘reasonable’ draconian measures.

However, that is not to say that letting the state control pendulum swing totally in the other direction would have been any better; some people fail to understand that, especially in a pandemic, it’s not just one’s own health that matters but rather the health of the nation, or indeed the species. Such an individualistic attitude would have let the pandemic rip through our society, which would have been most unkind; nor would it have necessarily have led to less suffering than that caused by lockdowns, social distancing and the other strategies. We might for example think back to some early news coverage of the pandemic which suggested that a large percentage of the British workforce could be off sick all at once. This could realistically have led to many kinds of problems in maintaining even basic infrastructure like water and power, leading to potentially catastrophic domino effects. The point about the pandemic is that we are dealing with dis-ease, an experience that, by definition, is not easy. Life is often like this, there are some situations in which there is no good option, Whatever we do it’s going to hurt. (I should mention here other models of the nation state, or more broadly collective action, that don’t originate in totalitarian oppression which in turn gives rise to the shadow of the ‘sovereign individual’ as an apparently isolated and autonomous self. Alternative systems based on compassionate collective action and personal integrity are possible, as exemplified in this excellent documentary Gather.)

Meanwhile, the number of people I know who have been vaccinated against Covid-19 is increasing. Thus far none of them have been taken over by Bill Gates’ nanobots or whatever, so that augurs well for my own chances when the time comes! Personally, I rather like vaccination as a concept, the idea of limited exposure to disease which primes the body to better manage the actual infection has a somewhat alchemical or even initiatory quality to it.

In initiation rituals we go down into the darkness, recapitulating the experience of our intrauterine existence and our birth. We do this in a limited, controlled but authentic way. Initiation is a little death, a death that doesn’t kill the bodymind but instead enables us to experience a managed crisis of psychic dismemberment and physical tests. In passing through these rites we discover a new appreciation for life just as those who experience near-death events do. Moreover, we acquire enhanced resilience in the face of challenges posed by the human condition.

Over the last few months I, like many people, have spent quite a bit of time online and I know for myself that it’s going to be a curious journey re-making and re-joining collective physical space. While we have all experienced a pandemic, the differences in our narratives will be very significant, as will our experiences of coming back into social space. There are going to be lots of people, notably those in the medical profession, who will be carrying with them deep wounds and trauma. I hope very much that as a community we can find good ways to help each other, and as the year turns, to re-emerge together into the light. Let’s spring clean, shaking out the dust of the wintertime, and make space for the year to come.

Julian Vayne


St Brigid’s crosses (the three-armed variation!) made by Nikki Wyrd
A Call to Brigid and the Spirits of Imbolc

We call in the spirits of the technology that connects us, electronic wizardry conjuring deep magic spells through wires drawn from deep in the ground. 
Flowing electrons, rising sap, leaves budding, fluid birdsong, surge across landscapes. 
We feel the life force stirring beneath the earth. 
Feel the quickening in the belly of the year.
Start to see glimmers of sunlit days ahead. 
The clean clear white light reminds us of the Shining Emptiness at the centre of the psychedelic experience. 
Place of creation, forge of identity, lit by sparks of aspiration from the hammer that beats, and beats with passion for the making of love. 

Imbolc, the time of emerging from the dark of winter days, the time of emerging from under the ground.  
Green shoots with white bells, push up through the snow. 
Pale primrose yellow signals the opening of the season for flowers: Golden trumpets herald the sun’s return. 
Make way, make space! 
For new shoots, springing from old roots. 
Clear the ground, clear your mind, hear the beginning of life from way, way down.  
Make room to breathe, room to forge ahead, room to grow. 

Brigid, goddess of smithing, of fire, of the bright, of wells, of healing and fertility, of poetry, of love, of brilliance. 
Crowned with candles, the saint walks through the land, stirring our hearts with a touch of her wand, soothing away the cares of the winter with a touch of her hand. 
Milk flows from sheep, from mothers, they give life to those that are just born, ancestors nurturing and nourishing what were twinkles in last year’s eyes. 

Brigid, Brid, you who were born as the sun rose, exalted one, blessings on those who celebrate you on this holy day! 
You, who know what we need, wise goddess, we ask for visions, for words, for you to show us what is hidden within! 

The pulse of the year, as the wheel turns again; the beat of the heart, as the smith’s hammer beats time into shape. 
Sparks fly up, tiny lights glimmer, the sun glints from ice crystals as the daylight grows. 
Tiny bright sparks, catch them in your mind’s eye. Breathe with the bellows breath and see the light glow. 

Brigid, inspire us, as our thoughts rise up, like a spring bubbles forth from the ground, overflowing with inspiration long held, deep within our hearts. 
Seed sparks, giving rise to bright flames, flowers blooming on the anvil of Earth as the season of creation arrives.

Nikki Wyrd

Coming up this spring